pulses
by isadoritaah
Summary: when your life changes from bad to worst and there is no where to go but down what would you do to survive?


**Prologue**

I have always tried to picture myself as an only child. Wondering what it would be like, to have everything I wanted and not having to share. How it would be like to not have the constant fighting and the constant screaming. But every time that thought goes through my mind, it's like my subconscious rejects it immediately.

For the past two weeks I have had these dreams that I always see myself as an only child, but the weirdest part is that I did have siblings but they had died. I felt so lonely and so deserted. All I had wanted in my dream is to have the love and the warmth of my brother and my sister. As soon as I started panicking and screaming for them I would wake up with a thin, cold, and sticky sheet of sweat on my face and body. I would try to forget the dream but then I knew I would have it again and again and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

**Chapter 1**

It was Monday, and the sun shone through my window like a light going on my eyes. My room felt hot and dusty. I turn to see the window and the curtain was wide open. Oh, great my sister forgot to close the window, and I am the one that who has to suffer the consequences from her actions. Since she is always cold she won't mind the hot room, but I am more of a hot person so I woke up really uncomfortable.

I pushed the covers back and went straight to take a shower. I put the water really hot and started to undress. I saw my face in the mirror and there is saw a pale girl, with heart shaped face that still held some baby fat, with freckles, brown eyes that have a tint of dark green, brown wavy hair that reached somewhere around her shoulders or maybe a little longer. As I took of my shirt and short off, I saw my body and thought maybe I could lose some weight. Like I am not the fattest person in the world, but definitely I am no size two. My size is somewhere around the five or six or sometimes four. I guess that's ok but I would like to be thinner. It's like I have a little too much there and a little too little in other places, but I have to try to be happy with what my Higher Up gave me. Yes, a Higher Up. A Higher Up is a spiritual; friend. Well like for example people who are Catholics. As you should probably know Catholics believe in God .Well my God is not like their God. My God is someone I made up with my mind and respect him and worship him even if no one else knows about him. He has been with me since I was ten (I'll tell you more about him later)

I got inside the steaming shower and I started to wash my hair. But apparently washing my hair only took up time for my hands not my mind. All I was thinking was about the stupid dream that kept me tossing and turning all night. Why do I still have that dream it has been going on and on for weeks? It was always the same, I am in my house and I am screaming for my brother and my sister but I just couldn't find them, but deep down inside me I knew something. It was like I knew something horrible had happened to them something horrible like death. My heart would start to beat very hard like a hummingbird's wings. I would start to panic and I would scream louder than before. And before anything else happened I would wake up and wouldn't sleep again. That thought brought me back to reality. Just then I realized that the water was burning my skin.

I stopped the shower and took a towel of the rack and dried myself off. I turn the light of the bathroom off. As soon as I got to my room I would start with a soft voice "Kayleigh! Time to wake up" Kayleigh always did the same, she would groan and say "ugh I don't want to get out it's so warm in here." And then I would be like"Kayleigh, you have to get up, it's another day get up and face it." She would get off her bunk bed (she slept on the top) and go to the bathroom. It was always the same with Kayleigh; it was like a routine to me. Even if she was two minutes older. Yes, I said two minutes older not two years older but two minutes older. I (Bayleigh) and my sister Kayleigh are fraternal twins even though my sister looks one to two years older than me. I guess I just got stuck with 15 years even though we are 16 going on 17 in spring. Kayleigh looks sort of like me but she has a rounder face, has a darker color of eye, more brownish going to black, her hair is really long that reaches her lower back but is brown just like mine. She isn't the thinnest stick in the bunch maybe even a little more thicker than me but unlike me, she seems to pull it off, it's like if she lost weight it would look really bad, but that is my opinion.

I started to get dressed in my uniform, which I totally hated with passion. I fixed my hair, put on a few bracelets, and sprayed some perfume. I got my bag and walked down the hallway. Right before I went downstairs I heard the bathroom door open and my sister came out with a towel around her. She always took so much longer than me. I always think that even though she is like ten times smarter than me she is not going to get anywhere if she doesn't learn of a word called _responsibility. _Unlike her I am extremely responsible but not as bright like my sister, I always have to try harder than her because for some reason things don't come easy to me. I watched her close the door and I turned my head to the left and saw my parents eating breakfast in bed while their favorite _child _drank his bottle of milk. Tyler is only five and is the son's devil if not the actual devil. He is my step-brother, and I also have a step father. But I love him like my real dad; he has seen all my emotions; joy, anger, shock, surprise, sadness and so much more. I was about to head downstairs when my mom saw me and I waved at them with a false smile pasted on my face and an awkward perkiness that I only used when my mom was around.

I rushed down the stairs to the kitchen where I dropped my bag, binder, and sweater. I looked around the kitchen which was an organized mess. The dishes were everywhere; on the sink, in the counter, on top of the microwave. Psst, and my mom the neat freak was the "only person who kept this house clean and running". If it wasn't for Kayleigh and me the kitchen would never be broomed or mopped. And dishes would never be washed, unless there was a mountain of dishes then my mom would make an exception and would start to wash the dishes. But when we would get home from school she would act like the victim and say how much work she has done and how Kayleigh and me never help around the house, and how inconsiderate we are and how she is getting too old to be doing housework. It was always the same crap over and over, to me everything my mom said was like a really old tune that kept on repeating itself. But anyway back to reality I was fixing myself breakfast when my sister comes downstairs and looks at me with a tired look in her eye. Then a few seconds later my dad comes down stairs with the car keys and says "let's go." So much for my breakfast, but it's not like I care if I eat or not. I don't get hungry in the mornings anyway.

All three of us hop on to the car and head for my not so likeable school. Usually the car ride is quiet unless my sister comes up with some topic to talk about, then it's just my sister and my dad talking. I usually keep to myself mainly because it's the morning and I don't feel like talking or its because I could careless to what the topic is about. Today my sister's topic is "why does fog appear?" My dad went into this whole explanation about fog and the ground being warmer than the air. I mainly blocked it out and just stared out the window. The morning looked beautiful, the grass still held dew, the trees had a healthy green, the sky was still dark but if you looked straight up you could see a straight line that divided the sky. It was like good and bad, light and dark. One side was sky blue and the other side was a darker blue like the blue you see when the sun is about to set. It was just marvelous. All of a sudden the car stops


End file.
